The Anxiety of Master D

All I have to do is swing by her page as the year end descends. And I am heart-aching and wanting all over again. Like a dog salivating at the bell of angels, at the foot of its masters' grave. The Angel at the fringe of my gardens; just a little beyond with the space between us, as wide as a lifetime. 

"In The End, I will be with you again." 

That eternal statement, buying me energy and sanity and Hope.

 Never Time. 

For time is the enemy here. Time is the thorn twisted into a crown. Time is the painful, unending procession of hurt that culminates in ' it is Finished.' 

No.

Time only deepens my need for her. Let the end come without the awareness of time. Bury it in the recesses of mind. Give it the promise and let it pass away. All things will die. All things will return. eventually. And in the end, "We will be together again." 

I Have lived lifetimes with her. I have lived lifetimes without her. Meeting her in this cycle of now is of no consolation. For it makes me remember her. 

Recalling the Aeon When we were one.

When her skin was soft and warm on my face. When her breath was close and gentle on my ears. When her heart was loud and powerful in mine. When I could kiss her. Touch her. Love her. 

The memory is too much. And memory here also serves the Lord of Time. 

No. 

Time only deepens my love for her. 

There WILL come a time without an awareness of the end. That is my Heaven. To be with her at the end of time. To return to her arms in the soul of the sun and to say to death, to time, to wanting and to waiting, these final words of liberation. 

 'It is finished. This Is The End."

When I am Finally Home with her again. 

Posted via email from AFTERVOLTER PRESS

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